Outwork the World and Be the Last One Standing
Who is telling you no? And the bigger question is, when someone tells you no, are you letting them make you feel like you aren’t worthy? People can tell you, over and over, why you “can’t” do something. I’ve heard it constantly, for years, both before and after success. Fuck them. I will show myself why I “can” do something, and if I do it enough, others will eventually see that I can do it too. Door closing in your face, as you hustle to build the career you dream of? Look at it this way: if someone closed the door on you and locked it in real life, would you just sit there forever, with the door locked? Fuck no, you would start to panic and do whatever it took to get that damn door open. Well, you don’t have to wait to panic before you react with that same ferociousness, in your career, in life. When someone slams the door shut, react! Kick it back open, like your goals depend on it . . . BECAUSE THEY DO.
Loyalty Is a Lost Art
Are you as loyal as you could be? And here’s an even tougher question, are you loyal to the right people for the right reasons? Not because you need something from that person, but rather, you just want a true bond. Remember, we’re only interested in give-give relationships. That might mean letting go of some other people who aren’t holding up their end of the deal. This is going to sound a little morbid, but the way I go about my relationships, I give the type of loyalty where I will end up being that person’s pallbearer. I know, I know, a little morbid. But think about it. What can be a greater expression of loyalty than to be chosen to carry your loved one to the end? If I treat all my friends like this and even just 10 to 15 percent repay me with that same loyalty . . . that’s a pretty damn cool crew I have to walk this walk with me. I try not to think about the other 85 to 90 percent who weren’t as loyal back. I simply build and honor the group that was. Relationships are everything, so treat them like gold. BECAUSE THEY ARE.
Living in the Gray
Are you lying? And by that I mean are you pretending you’re fine when you’re really not, maybe because you don’t want to be a burden? Or because you’re scared to admit to others—or even yourself—how fucked up you feel inside? As you’ve just seen, the problem with these lies is that they don’t just hurt you. They also hurt the other people who could be helped by your vulnerability. So, try this: The next time someone asks you how you are, if you’re having a shitty day, don’t just say “Great!” Dare to say “I’m actually having a rough time today. Thanks for asking.” You might go into more detail about why. Or you might not. Either way, you’ve just done something totally badass. You’ve been authentic! Now, try stopping and asking someone how they are, especially if they look like they could use a teammate. And don’t just take the easy answer. Dig deep. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT TEAMMATES DO FOR EACH OTHER.
Be of Service
When was the last time you loved yourself up for something you did for someone else? (And if you can’t remember the last time that you did something for anyone, this is a great moment to be of service!) But I’m sure there’s something. Maybe when you got your afternoon coffee, you grabbed one for your colleague. Maybe you played soccer in the yard with your daughter for an hour after work, even though you were tired and had a report to finish. Maybe you donated $50 to save the whales. Or $5. Maybe you held the door for someone at the bank. Now, be proud of yourself. Remind yourself, in that moment, you made the world a better place, and hopefully you inspired that person to pay it forward. BECAUSE BEING OF SERVICE NOT ONLY HELPS OTHERS . . . IT HELPS YOU TOO!
You Never Know What Lies Around Next
What was around next Tuesday for you? Think back to a time you got fired or dumped—or something much darker and shittier. Remember, you thought it was the end for you? But it ended up being the seed of something beautiful—the experience that connected you to your best friend, or gave you the empathy for the job you now have helping others, or cleared the deck for you to meet the love of your life. Or remember a door that closed that ended up changing your career, or life path, in a positive way. Look at it, let it sink in, embrace it, and thank the Universe for conspiring to help you when you didn’t see it. Don’t just keep this message to yourself either. Share it! BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHO NEEDS TO HEAR IT THE MOST.
Find Your Team
Are you checking in on your teammates? Are you showing up by being authentic and vulnerable about your own shit? Having a team is a gift. Use it! If you don’t have a team, my friend, you need one—probably more than one—ASAP, if you’re going to be Unbreakable. I challenge you to not just reach for the easiest team either (though I want you to reach for them as well). A team of your colleagues, your neighbors, people at your places of worship, that’s great too! I have those kinds of teams. But dare to build a team that’s like what Unbreakable and MVP are for me. Not a place filled with celebrities. That’s not what I’m talking about, and I know that’s certainly not the norm. But rather places where you can be your most real and fucked up and broken, and you can be of service to the people who need it the most. BECAUSE THE TEAM THAT CHALLENGES YOU IS THE ONE THAT GROWS YOU.
What makes you authentically you? I’m not just requesting the highlights reel you’d give at a job interview. I’m talking about AUTHENTICITY, what you and you alone possess. Dig deep and list where you struggle and what you’re good with. Challenge yourself to find a moment in the next week when you vow to be more you (hopefully the loving you, not the asshole you)—be vulnerable, stand up for yourself, speak your mind, crack that joke. Are you scared? Good! BECAUSE THAT MEANS THE REAL YOU IS REALLY LIVING.
Be Proud of Your Scars
speak three languages, or you make six figures, although, sure, be proud of that too. I mean what’s the part of you that maybe you’re embarrassed of, or you don’t normally want to talk about? The thing that, truly, is unique about you, even if you used to have it backwards and think it was ugly. What scar have you overcome? What dark tunnel have you traveled through that didn’t break you? I tell this to people all the time who have beaten illnesses, addiction, or any hardships that seemed so incredibly difficult, THAT is what makes you different, and different is what leads to success. If you’re beating yourself up for your struggles, stop, right now, and love yourself up for them. It’s time to honor them! Seriously, BECAUSE YOU’RE DIFFERENT.