So, Who Cares if They Need or Want It?
- A warm body is a warm body; sell to them as if your life depends on it.
- Don’t waste time seeking out qualified buyers; that reduces your actually selling time. More calls always means more sales.
- If people don’t need or want what you are selling, you can always just badger the person into submission.
So, Who Cares if They Have the Power to Purchase?
- Qualifying buyers is a waste of valuable selling time.
- Who cares who the initiators, influencers, buyers, decision-makers, users, and evaluators are? Just sell to your contact. It’ll all work out in the end.
- Ignore front desk people; they’re know-nothing underlings.
So, Who Cares if They Can Afford It?
- Don’t bother to check whether your prospect has the power to purchase. Sell to anyone, regardless of whether he or she has purchasing authority.
- If they “can’t afford what you’re selling,” well, they’re obviously lying. They’ll find the money from somewhere.
- A buyer’s ability to pay is irrelevant to whether you make the sale.
- Keep selling even if you know the buyer doesn’t need, want, or can’t afford what you’re selling. Hey, you never know—if you’re there long enough they might give in.
Why Aren’t Other People Just Like Me?
- Treat everyone the same. If they aren’t like you, they’re seriously weird.
- Be true to yourself and never adapt your personality or behavior for anyone.
- Only sell to people who are just like you (it’s easier).
- Treat all prospects as if they are stupid or of dubious intellect—they will appreciate, or not recognize, the fact that they are being patronized.
- Reserve respect for those who see the world the same way you do.
What Now? Sell Myself First?
- Buyers don’t have to like you; they just have to need what you are selling, or you have to have the best price.
- My tattoos and Mohawk won’t upset anyone—tats are now totally acceptable.
- It’s old school to wear suits and stuff. Casual wear, even jeans, are totally acceptable these days.
- You have massive amounts of time for a prospect to get to know you; people don’t make snap judgments about their salesperson.
- You are who you are! No need to tailor your approach to different people.
It’s the Customer’s Responsibility to Accept Me as I Am
- Adapting your style to make it easier to connect and relate to people who are different from you just makes you fake. Be who you are and own it.
- It’s up to the buyer to adapt to your style, not the other way around.
- It’s too much effort to try to get to know prospects and buyers enough to style-shift so that they better understand you and what you sell.
Hey, Being a Little Late Is Not Such a Big Deal
- First impressions are overrated: these people need you way more than you need them.
- Don’t bother turning up on time—prospects are usually late anyway.
- Shun calendars and organizers; you’ll remember that appointment.
I’m Top Dog and My Competitors Need to Know It
- You don’t need to build a rapport with your prospects; your product will speak for itself.
- You don’t need to bond with prospects. Just get straight to your pitch and start convincing them to buy.
- Everybody’s casual these days—no need for business attire; jeans will do.
- Prospects are like vicious dogs: never look them in the eyes.
- Firm handshakes are overrated; a casual soft handshake is just fine. Limp, cold fish hands and wrists are so in right now.
- Touchy-feely is in vogue; don’t be afraid to get up close and personal. People don’t mind you invading their space.
- Everyone likes a good joke, especially when you poke fun at minorities, politicians, religions, and other genders.
- Being politically correct is no fun! People will appreciate your offbeat take on the world. Go for it!
- A good conversation about politics, how attractive your prospect’s coworker is, or religion helps keep it real. People want to know what you stand for and will respect you for your opinions.
- Make sure you put lesser competitors in their place, especially in front of customers, to let them know you are the top dog.
- My customers need me more than I need them. Our products are number one, our company is number one—we’re untouchable, so they wouldn’t dare throw us out.
Rejection Sucks—Giving Up Is Easier
- Take rejection personally—very personally. It’s you they are insulting.
- If you start the day with several “nos,” just give up. That way you won’t have to suffer being rejected again.
- If you don’t make the sale on the first call or visit, don’t bother trying again. It’s their loss. And they’ll never buy anyway. Most sales are the result of just one contact, so go for the low-hanging fruit.
- Don’t look back on your failures, or question why you didn’t get the order—there’s nothing to learn there.
There’s Nothing Wrong with a Good Whine
- Angry about something? Share it with your prospect. Everyone likes negativity—they’re sure to be on your side.
- Wear your heart on your sleeve: everyone has a “whine” quota and sharing yours with your customers is a great way to get things off your chest.
Commitment Is Overrated
- Customers don’t care whether you are loyal to your company, and who cares if they do? It’s not as if they’re going to trust you any more just because you believe in your company and its products.
- Fake being genuine. Buyers will never know the difference.
- Let other reps waste their time becoming involved in the industry—it won’t give them any advantage.
- Enthusiasm, passion, honesty, and knowledge don’t help with credibility. You have the best product and buyers know it.
- Don’t waste time learning about your products. You can always refer customers to the brochure or the company website.
- Ignore smaller customers—only look after your high-volume clients.
- Loyalty to your company is a mug’s game; you should always be looking for better opportunities with your company’s competition.
- You don’t have to love selling, or even plan to stay in sales, to be good at it—anyone can sell and be good at it, it’s easy.
- Selling is just a way to make money; it’s not a lifetime job or anything. Make your job fit around your life, not the other way around.
- Do just enough to keep your sales manager off your back. Keeping your head down is a powerful tool and career enhancer.
Doing Extra Calls Is a Mug’s Game
- The “one more call” philosophy is a myth. You’d probably screw it up or get rejected anyway.
- Only do what’s required of you—nobody respects a suck-up.
- If you finish your last sales call of the day early, take some time off and relax. There’s a cold beer in the fridge at home with your name on it and you deserve it; save your energy for tomorrow.
I Hate Targets. They Are So Bogus
- If I do more calls, that doesn’t mean I’ll make sales—it just means I have to work harder.
- I already do too many calls; the last thing I want to do is work more hours.
- Cold calls are where salespeople go to die; they’re not in my job description.
- My sales technique is just fine. Taking additional training or looking for ways to close more sales is just a waste of time.
- Losing an occasional customer here and there is one of the costs of doing business. There’s no need to be concerned.
- Don’t push yourself by setting yourself targets—that’s for suck-ups and geeks.
- It’s my boss’s job to set targets, not mine.
- If you’re a sales manager, set sales targets unrealistically high to motivate your salespeople, and fire the weakest performer every month
A Good Pitch Is One Where No One Interrupts Me
- If at all possible, trap your prospect so that they can’t escape your sales pitch.
- Promise prospects a short presentation and once you have them captive keep them as long as it takes to get the sale.
- Make your sales pitch flashy and light on actual facts. Go for the sizzle not the steak. There’s no need to do any detailed research—just rely on your personality.
- Make your sales pitch full of complex information, facts, and figures. Bamboozle the customer with details; they’ll be impressed.
- Don’t let anyone prevent you from finishing your sales pitch even if you think they might be ready to make a purchase; they’ll probably order more by the time you finish.
- If it looks like you are going to lose the sale, it’s okay to show your frustration and make the prospect feel guilty about wasting your time and losing your commission.
- Emphasize your company’s experience and size; prospects aren’t looking for features, advantages, benefits, and fresh ideas.
- Give people something to make them feel obliged to hear your sales pitch—making them feel guilty is a great way to get a sale.
- You don’t need to answer questions; just tell prospects what they need.
- Listening is overrated; you just need to get all your points across as quickly and forcefully as possible before they ask any questions or bring up an objection.
- You can be a little loose with the facts; no one’s going to check. Integrity is for losers and you have targets to meet (or do you?).
Formal Presentations Are Best Done Off the Cuff
- Always arrive just in time; if you’re too early it looks like you are needy.
- Use PowerPoints with at least twenty bullets per slide written in 10-point font—that way you can pack more information into your presentation. People don’t need to be able to read your slides. You can read them out loud—most prospects are illiterate anyway.
- Funky fonts are fun and will keep your audience on their toes as they try to make out the words.
- People enjoy quirky clip art and humorous photographs in formal presentations: it keeps them alert.
- If ten slides are good, fifty are better.
- Excel spreadsheets look impressive in a PowerPoint presentation. A blurry screengrab works well—after all, you don’t want anyone to actually read it.
- Focus on you and your company and ignore your potential buyer’s needs.
How Dare They Object!
- If someone raises an objection, ignore it—they’ll forget about it before you get to ask for the order.
- Rude prospects need to be put in their place; you are right to take offense if they are being negative about what you sell, and it’s okay to show anger toward them.
- Protect the integrity of what you sell at all costs—tell buyers they don’t know what they are talking about if they dare to criticize you, your products, or your company.
People Are Just Being Awkward When They Raise Objections
- Treat all objections identically. They are all the same—a pain in the backside.
- There’s no such thing as a genuine objection.
- Treat objections as a customer’s way of stalling. Push through them with your sales pitch—there’s nothing to be gained from trying to understand the buyer’s concerns.
- People are all the same. There’s no mileage in trying to take their personality type into consideration; use the same answers and reasoning on everyone.
The Best Way to Handle Objections Is to Ignore Them
- Don’t prepare for objections ahead of time—it’s fun to be put on the spot.
- Make sure you point out the stupidity of the customer’s objections.
- Objections are always about price not value, so resort to discounting if the going gets tough.
- The best way to deal with an objection is to change the subject. The prospect will forget about it once you hit them with all the good things about your product, or you tell them a joke.
- An outstanding objection won’t stop you from getting an order; just bully your prospect into buying.
- If a prospect mentions your competition, slam the other company quickly and mercilessly.
Closing Is Just a Matter of Going in for the Kill
- Don’t look for the buying signals; buyers are inscrutable. It’s a fallacy that you can tell if someone is ready to buy what you’re selling.
- Left brain, right brain—it’s all psychobabble.
- If you think you spot a buying signal, either ignore it and keep hammering home the benefits or start discounting like crazy to ensure you get the sale.
- Never use trial closes—they are just a trick. Allow the buyer tons of time to make their decision.
Buyers Will Tell Me When They’re Ready to Buy—No Need to Close
- Never ask for the order—if the prospect wants to buy, they will go out of their way to insist you take their order.
- String together a series of questions the prospect can only say yes to, then ask for the order. Works every time.
- Leave closing until the last minute; people are never ready to buy until you are just about to leave.
I Don’t Like to Follow Up; It’s Like Stalking
- No need to follow up a sales call—they’ll call you if they need something.
- Don’t bother sending a thank-you note or a recap of the meeting; they’ll just send it straight to their junk file.
- It’s just as easy and cost-effective to get new customers as it is to resell or upsell to existing customers.
- If you don’t hear back from a potential customer in a few days, move on—you don’t want them to think you are stalking them.
Why Would I Follow Up? I Got the Order
- Don’t bother to thank them for their order; the prospect will have forgotten you by the time they get their product.
- Never follow up to see if the order arrived in good condition. Don’t tempt fate—the prospect might want to send it back.
- Prospects don’t want you to keep in touch; it’s not as if they are likely to buy from a competitor. Besides, there are all those shiny new prospects out there waiting for your attention.