Self-care is how we fuel our self-love so that we are able to share our love with everyone around us. Our hearts are warm when we are able to show up with generosity, patience, and compassion for the ones we love, but we must remember that it is impossible to truly be there for others without taking care of ourselves first.
We take care of ourselves by asking what our needs are. We take care of ourselves by making healthy choices when it comes to our physical and emotional bodies. We take care of ourselves by lightening up and not being so damn hard on ourselves. At times, life seems to be one never-ending to-do list, but we must learn to disrupt the flood of life’s demands in order to replenish our energy so that we can fully show up for all of our passions and responsibilities. It does not benefit anyone when we live our lives running on fumes. Love is an action, a thing in motion. Therefore, it requires fuel.
Change is necessary. It is important. And it is also what makes life exciting. When we fear change, it keeps us in an energy of feeling stuck, powerless, and resentful, but when we embrace change, we open ourselves to the understanding that anything is possible. Life is not supposed to stay the same. We are not supposed to stay the same. Our life, our communities, and our world are always in bloom. When we understand this, we see that change is growth, and growth is essential for each of us to reach our individual and collective potential.
Our world often tells us that there is something wrong with needing something or someone, or that expressing our needs is somehow a sign of weakness. This is completely untrue. Knowing our needs is a limitless superpower, one that can help us make all the big decisions in life. When we know what we need from a partner, we spend much less time dating the wrong people. When we know what we need to feel challenged and motivated by our work, we are much more tuned in to what we want our career path to look like.
And when we know what we need in order to be our best selves, we are much better at showing up as that person in our relationships with our friends and family. Be unapologetic when it comes to your needs. They are, at the very least, deserving of being seen and heard. What are your needs? Create a list of your needs and make space for them in your life. Respecting and expressing your needs can superpower your life. Start by recognizing them.
No matter how much work we do on ourselves, stress and anxiety will still show up. Our work is not to avoid them; it isn’t to wrestle with them or “cope” with them. Stress and anxiety are unavoidable visitors. Let us accept this. When they come, acknowledge their arrival, evaluate what invited them in, and recognize that they are guests, not permanent fixtures. They will leave, especially if we don’t entertain them or pick a fight with them. No matter how overwhelming the feelings that come with stress and anxiety are, we must always remember that we are human, and though we may not be able to control their arrival, we always have the power to release them. Pause. Breathe slowly and deliberately. Think positively. Remember your strength. These feelings will eventually leave, because ultimately they know they have no home within your sacred self.
Wise soldiers know that not every ground is a battleground. Their scars do not let them forget that they have had to be a fighter, but their scars also do not let them forget that the human body cannot live every day in the trenches. To exist in a state that requires you to constantly be prepared to go to war is exhausting. No human body or soul can sustain that type of energy as a lifestyle. Let yourself relax. The ground is not only the place where we march toward what we must fight for; it is also a place where we are being divinely held up by the earth.
Learning the power of gratitude is not only wise, it is practical. When we understand how to feel grateful for what we have, we are free from the uneasy state of constantly wanting. A never-ending hunt for more puts the mind in a continual state of anxiety. But when we are thankful for what we have and understand the difference between what we want and what we need, we are able to relax the mind and put less pressure on ourselves to obsessively upgrade the things in our life. Release the energy of more, more, more and replace it with the energy of thank you, thank you, thank you.
Confidence is not something we have, it is something we practice so that it lives in flow with all that we do. Confidence is not something we have by saying “Okay, I need to be confident right now.” True confidence comes from affirming ourselves regularly and treating ourselves kindly. When our mental chatter props us up and reminds us that we are capable of whatever we wish to accomplish, half of the battle of achieving any goal is already won. Don’t approach your life from a space of defeat. Approach your life with the vibrancy of “I got this,” because at the end of the day . . . who is to say you don’t?
Life does not always hand us the easy road. Life does not always allow for us to be in the right frame of mind to always do the right thing at the right time. To know this is to remember that you are human. We are not born knowing the best way to navigate the worst circumstances. We are all more than our mistakes. Our mistakes do not make us bad people. Our mistakes, when met with awareness and personal responsibility, are actually what introduce us to our best selves. You are beautiful because of all of your experiences—the good, the bad, and the imperfect.
There can be no flow without the spirit of flexibility. Allow yourself to be flexible. When we walk into situations feeling so sure of who we are and what we know, we are unable to create space for others or for our own personal growth. When we are flexible, we open ourselves to mountains of possibilities, new ideas, and revelations. To be in flow means to be able to move through the world with the ability to roll with whatever comes up. There is no way to do this if the energy you embody is rigid and stubborn. Loosen up.
Work In Progress
To know that you are a work in progress means to recognize that your goals are also works in progress. A friend of mine once said to me that there is no . . . “there.” It reminded me that every single day we are growing into who we will be tomorrow. Because we go through so many stages and phases, it is important to consistently reset our goals so that they can grow with us. When we reset our goals, we allow for each one to flow into the next and connect with all phases of our life. Refresh your goals regularly and with intention. It will help you stay continuously motivated and inspired.