What Are You Afraid Of . . . And Why?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!
This point is so critical. From this moment on, every time you feel afraid, remind yourself that it is simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself.
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!
Give yourself a winning chance. As you do, you will find yourself coming closer and closer to such a high level of self-confidence that you will ultimately begin to realize that you can handle anything that comes your way.
Can’t You Make It Go Away?
TRUTH #1 THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW.
rather than think of it as a disappointment, consider it a relief that you no longer have to work so hard on getting rid of the fear. It isn’t going to go away! Not to worry. As you build your confidence in yourself with the exercises suggested herein, your relationship with fear will dramatically alter.
TRUTH #2 THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT.
This sounds contradictory to Truth 1, yet it isn’t. Fear of particular situations dissolved when I finally confronted them. The “doing it” comes before the fear goes away.
TRUTH #3 THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS TO GO OUT . . . AND DO IT.
When you make something happen, not only does the fear of the situation go away, but also you get a big bonus: you do a lot toward building your self-confidence. It’s fairly predictable, however, that when you’ve finally mastered something and gotten rid of the fear, it will feel so good that you will decide that there is something else out there you want to accomplish, and—guess what! The fear begins again as you prepare to meet a new challenge.
TRUTH #4 NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO EXPERIENCE FEAR WHENEVER I’M ON UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY, BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.
Those who have successfully dealt with fear all their lives seem to have known, consciously or unconsciously, the message in this book: You must feel the fear . . . and do it anyway.
TRUTH #5 PUSHING THROUGH FEAR IS LESS FRIGHTENING THAN LIVING WITH THE UNDERLYING FEAR THAT COMES FROM A FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS.
The more helpless we feel, the more severe is the undercurrent of dread that comes with knowing there are situations in life over which we have no control—such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job. We find ourselves becoming obsessive about possible catastrophes. “What if . . . ? ”Fear permeates our lives. That is the irony of Fear Truth 5: people who refuse to take risks live with a feeling of dread that is far more severe than what they would feel if they took the risks necessary to make them less helpless—only they don’t know it!
From Pain to Power
Whether it feels like it or not, you already have more power than you could ever have imagined. We all have.
Inside of you, just waiting to emerge, is an incredible source of energy, which is more than sufficient for you to create a joyful and satisfying life. It isn’t magic. It is only a process of tapping the energy already there, though you are not aware of it.
Most of us are filled with old conditioning that is keeping us weak. It takes constant repetition for newer and healthier patterns to take hold.
You are innately designed to use your personal power. When you don’t, you experience a sense of helplessness, paralysis, and depression—which is your clue that something is not working as it could. You, like all of us, deserve everything that is wonderful and exciting in life. And those feelings emerge only when you get in touch with your powerful self.
Whether You Want It or Not…It’s Yours
For some reason, you are consciously or unconsciously choosing to be in that lousy job, you are choosing to hate the single life, you are choosing to stay in a destructive relationship, you are choosing to let your daughter drive you crazy, you are choosing to sabotage anything good in your life . . . or whatever else it may be for you.
THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU REALLY ARE IN CONTROL—IN TOTAL CONTROL
It is difficult to accept the fact that you are the cause of the feelings that take away your joy in life. It is very upsetting when you begin to see yourself as your own worst enemy. On the other hand, this realization is your biggest blessing. If you know you can create your own misery, it stands to reason that you can also create your own joy
When “They” Don’t Want You To Grow
If you are now cringing with the realization that the people in your life belong in the weak, stuck, and depressed category, don’t worry. Awareness of this fact is the key to the solution. Most of us are not aware that we belong to the moan-and groan crowd until we stop moaning and groaning. When we become aware, things automatically start to take care of themselves.
IT IS AMAZINGLY EMPOWERING TO HAVE THE SUPPORT OF A STRONG, MOTIVATED, AND INSPIRATIONAL GROUP OF PEOPLE.
How? It’s quite simple. As you begin to grow, you will notice that you no longer want to be around depressing people. Negativity is contagious, and you walk away feeling lousy after spending time in the company of a negative person. Positiveness is contagious as well, and spending time with a positive person makes you feel as though you can sprout wings and fly. Soon you’ll become discerning. Energy is tangible, and as you become more aware, you will “feel” if a person is positive or negative . . . and you’ll be automatically drawn to the more positive. The people in your life are a good indicator of where you are operating on an emotional level. Like attracts like. As you begin to change, you will automatically draw and be drawn to a different kind of person.
Just Nod Your Head-Say “Yes!”
The phrase “say yes” means “to agree to” those things that life hands us. Saying yes means letting go of resistance and letting in the possibilities that our universe offers in new ways of seeing the world. It means to relax bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety. Aside from the emotional benefits, the physical benefits are enormous.
IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR.
Conversely, saying no means to be a victim. “How could this happen to me!” Saying no means to block, to fight, to resist opportunities for growth and challenge. Saying no creates tension, exhaustion, wasted expenditure of energy, emotional upheaval—or, worse, it creates apathy. “I can’t cope. I can’t go on. There is no hope.” The truth of the matter is that saying yes is our only hope.
Not only is saying yes our antidote to dealing with day-today disappointments, rejections, and missed opportunities (the flu, a leaking roof, a traffic jam, a flat tire, a lousy date, and so on), it is the miracle tool for dealing with our deepest, darkest fears.
Choosing Love and Trust
More than likely the question will soon become, “Am I getting back enough?” This kind of thinking sets up an incredible need to control others so you won’t feel shortchanged, destroys your peace of mind, and creates anger and resentment.
IF ALL YOUR “GIVING” IS ABOUT “GETTING,” THINK HOW FEARFUL YOU WILL BECOME.
Now you can see what’s wrong with “getting” being the most important motivation for “giving.” In fact:
GENUINE GIVING IS NOT ONLY ALTRUISTIC; IT ALSO MAKES US FEEL BETTER.
People who fear can’t genuinely give. They are imbued with a deep-seated sense of scarcity in the world, as if there wasn’t enough to go around. Not enough love, not enough money, not enough praise, not enough attention—simply not enough. Usually fear in one area of our lives generalizes, and we become closed down and protective in many areas of our lives. Fearful people can be visualized as crouched and hugging themselves.
This is not to say that we can’t enjoy what comes back to us, and paradoxically:
WHEN WE GIVE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, RATHER THAN FROM A PLACE OF EXPECTATION, MORE USUALLY COMES BACK TO US THAN WE COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED.
There Is Plenty of Time
Commit yourself to pushing through the fear and becoming more than you are at the present moment. The you that could be is absolutely colossal. You don’t need to change what you are doing—simply commit to learning how to bring to whatever you do in life the loving and powerful energy of your Higher Self. Whether you are a bank teller, housewife, corporate executive, student, street cleaner, teacher, film producer, salesperson, lawyer, or whatever, it’s yours to give.
As you live this way, moment by moment, day by day, in perfect time, you will find yourself moving closer and closer to Home. The paradox is that when you stay close to Home, you can go anywhere and do anything without fear.
The Divine Homesickness disappears as you find the place where we all are connected as loving human beings.
Whatever it takes to get you there,
FEEL THE FEAR . . . AND DO IT ANYWAY.