What we need to comprehend in life is that we can’t eliminate all conflict and pain from the world. It’s simply not possible. But the winners among us understand the pain we’re suffering doesn’t last forever. And that we learn how to deal with conflict and pain, and come to understand when we lose, which will inevitably happen, we pick ourselves up, learn from our mistakes and focus on the win next time.
Fear bubbles are everywhere.
Take bungee jumpers for example. They’re initially terrified of taking a jump but as soon as they swing into action, they’re instantly elated. They want to do another jump and another jump. What’s happening is they’re going into a fear bubble, busting it and hitting the adrenaline bus. The bus is then pushing them to go into another bubble, and when they do go into another bubble, they’re still going to experience whole new gut wrenching dread just before they leap. But this time, they know that as soon as they pierce it, they’re going to get an instant reward.
‘May be’ is the enemy.
Fear is a prompt for you to get ready. Commit yourself fully or not at all. If you can’t, that’s fine. Step back out of the bubble and attack it again when you sort yourself out. ‘May be’ keeps you in a bubble and suck your time and energy. ‘May be’ is a nightmare. You will never come out alive of the war zone, if you choose ‘may be’.
Pay attention to ‘avalanches’ in your head.
We all know avalanches are deadly, whether or not we are mountain climbers. But little do we know the avalanches in our heads are just as deadly. Once your negative thought collapses, it snowballs into a self-doubt. Accept your thoughts as they come and go, but you don’t have to believe and act on your negative thoughts.
Don’t take it personal.
“Oh, it’s Ant Middleton, let’s kill him”, says no enemy in the battlefield. The same applies in life. The world is brutal and it’s simply showing up the way it does to everyone. Focus on what you can control and that includes avoid taking things personal.
Turn your enemies into energy.
When you use fear bubble, people will compete with you and if they lose, they’ll become jealous. Use them to push you on into new corridors. Use them to motivate you to step into more fear bubbles. If you got enemies, it’s a sign you’re standing up for something in life. Take them as a badge of honor.
People tend to define you by the least evolved version of you.
If you bump into your long-lost friend or family, it’s common to hear ‘you’re not the same person who you were back then’. People always want to define you by who you were back then when they first met you. They believe the true you is the most basic, least involved version of yourself. By dragging you back there, they feel better with their own mediocre lives.
The beauty in life is you can’t ‘unlearn’ it.
But you can keep on growing. The reality is it doesn’t matter if you win or not. As long as you’re changing, you’re winning. You’re getting closer to your main mission.
“I don’t have PTSD. If you’ve got PTSD, your problems are essentially over.” – Ant Middleton
Let people take their own responsibility.
If someone in your life isn’t taking responsibility for themselves, chances are you want to step in and pick them up. And there’s nothing wrong with picking people up, as long as you’re not taking their own responsibilities. Let people take charge of their own lives, even if it means cutting them loose.