It’s time for a change
Confidence comes from being brave and taking action.
Micro-bravery is about taking small steps to challenge yourself and grow your confidence.
Building your assertiveness in small ways gives you strength and confidence to do bigger things. It’s like exercising a muscle.
Believe you can change
Your brain is always changing and adapting; learning new skills and behaviours is always possible.
Remembering why you want to be more brave and confident will motivate and inspire you to transform.
Freeing yourself from what other people think
It’s impossible to control what other people think of you; so you may as well be yourself.
A desire to fit in is hard-wired into all of us.
When you filter out the ‘bad’ bits of your personality, you lose the ‘good’ too.
Reboot your beliefs
Your beliefs often have their roots in childhood. In the present, they impact your thoughts and feelings.
The first step is to identify the belief – then you can start to write a new story for yourself.
Debug your thinking
As human beings, we’re prone to thinking errors such as generalizing and taking things personally.
Identifying your thinking errors will help to stop them from tripping you up.
Meet your inner imposter
Feeling like a fraud is incredibly common, especially in successful women.
Instead of putting your successes down to luck, remember what it was about you that made each thing happen.
Learn to love compliments
Make a conscious effort to accept compliments graciously.
Remember all the compliments and good feedback you’ve been given. Review them regularly.
Say goodbye, inner critic
Everyone has an inner critic, but you get to decide whether to believe yours or not.
The only person whose judgement can really hurt you, is you.
Shatter the illusion of perfectionism
Trying to be perfect is exhausting and stops us from being our true selves.
If you find yourself having perfectionist thoughts or feelings, imagine what you’d say to a friend in your position.
Become your own judge
If someone is overly critical of you, they are most likely critical of themselves too.
Sometimes we judge others to try to boost our own self-esteem – but this doesn’t work.
The strength of setting boundaries
Setting boundaries is about letting others know what is and isn’t OK with you.
Boundaries can improve relationships because they bolster your self-worth and value.
You set a precedent for how others treat you; when you set boundaries, people start to treat you better.
How to please yourself
If you were praised for being a good girl as a child, you may be a people pleaser now.
When we put everyone before ourselves, we can end up burning out or getting resentful.
Get into the habit of asking yourself: ‘What do I really think, feel or want?’
Discover the power of ‘no’
Every time you say no to what isn’t your top priority, you say yes to what is.
If it isn’t a ‘hell, yeah!’ it should be a ‘no’.
When you’re put on the spot, saying ‘Let me get back to you about that’ can buy you time to formulate your no.
Many of us say sorry far more often than is necessary, and this can impact our confidence.
Think about what you could say instead of the word ‘sorry’ – are ‘excuse me’ or ‘please’ more relevant?
Freeing yourself from fear of failure
Because of how we’re raised, women often fear failure more than men.
The story we tell ourselves about having been rejected is often the most painful part; but we can change the story.
It’s impossible to please everyone, and we are all rejected at some point or another.
How to embrace success
Our fear of success can sometimes be even bigger than our fear of failure.
Think about situations where you might be fearing success. Find a more proactive and rational way to look at each one.
Find the courage to be imperfect
Many people have perfectionist tendencies. Even if you have a messy desk, you can still be a perfectionist in other areas.
Perfection is a myth; it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t lead to happiness, and ‘being perfect’ won’t lead to you feeling more confident.
Things feel perfect when we embrace the messiness of life (and ourselves!) as it is.
Why failure is an option
Turn your failures into useful information to help you improve.
Taking small, micro-brave steps helps to build your confidence.
Choosing curiosity over fear helps you to move towards things rather than running away.
Bringing shame into the light
Shame is feeling ‘I am bad’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ and it often has its roots in childhood.
Shame can’t survive being spoken. When we share our shame stories and bring them into the light, the shame starts to dissolve.
How to heal shame and trauma
Give love and compassion to the ashamed part of yourself.
Always question your negative beliefs; they’re never true.
When we feel our feelings fully, we allow ourselves to heal.
Owning your shit
Getting to know and accept your dark side is the path to true self-acceptance.
There is often a positive intention behind the dark side; what is a healthier way to fulfil the positive intention?
If you spot it, you’ve got it. The parts of other people you find annoying are often those you have repressed and denied in yourself.
Owning your body
Most of us have been brainwashed by diet culture.
Nobody has hated themselves healthy; accepting yourself is always the way forward.
Consume media and follow people who make you feel good about yourself.
Remind yourself of all the amazing things your body does for you.
How to find your people
Time on social media is not the same as face-to-face time with real people. We need inter-person interaction to feel connected.
Sharing circles are a powerful way to experience community, intimacy and connection.
Be the real you
You create connections when you open up and allow the real you to be seen. Remember, everyone, like you, is struggling with something.
Loneliness is a big issue for young women – but you can make new friends.
Stronger, wiser, smarter: how to be resilient
You are already strong and resilient; it’s built into your DNA!
Bumps in the road are normal, not a sign you should give up.
Physical challenges and taking healthy risks can help grow your resilience and confidence.
Name and tame your emotions
We often label our emotions inaccurately, meaning that we respond in the wrong way.
Labelling emotions helps us feel calmer and more resourceful, so try to be as specific as possible.
Put yourself first
If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Work out what feels like self-care for you and schedule it into your diary.
Setting goals and going for your dreams
Believing you can do something is an important part of helping you to reach your goals.
Writing down your goals and intentions helps you to make them a reality.
Be mindful of your self-talk when you’re going out of your comfort zone, and always be kind to yourself.
Stop thinking, start doing
Deciding what you actually want is an important first step to getting it.
Having people to hold you accountable to a goal increases your chances of reaching it.
Break goals into manageable chunks, making them specific and measurable.