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When Your Intuition Talks to You, ‘Believe’ It
One of the greatest challenges we face is when our gut is telling us something completely different from what other people are telling, and we have to decide which to listen to.
The key is being aware of the things that prevent us from listening to our intuition: past mistakes, self-doubt, other people’s opinions. These can cloud our instincts, but when you’re aware of them you’re able to take your power back. Every one of us has intuition, and the better we get at tuning in to it, the more we’re able to step into our authentic selves and our full power.
And it’s important to be patient with ourselves. Sometimes learning to develop and then trust our own gut can be a journey. It may require us nurturing ourselves while looking at where we came from, just how far we’ve come, and how strong we had to be to get where we are right now. Rejection, failures, and even the times our gut turns out to be wrong, are all gifts along life’s journey. Don’t waste them—they are all valuable lessons. We can use them to refine our instincts and intuition.
‘Believe’ Where You Come from Doesn’t Determine Where You’re Going
In life it’s not our experiences that make us unique, it’s our response to those experiences. And to the uncertainty they immerse us in. Where you come from doesn’t have to determine where you’re going, but it definitely shapes the foundation you have to build on. When something hard happens, once you’re able to process it emotionally, you’re then left with choices. Do you victim-up or do you warrior-up? Do you give up or do you level up and believe? The up is up to you.
‘Believe’ You’re Stronger Than Your Opposition
Here’s what I learned, and what I believe is true in life when you live your truth, work extremely hard, and do right by others: When it comes to the mean people, the ruthless competitors, the naysayers, and the critics, they might not believe in you now, but one day they’ll call you for advice.
They might call you unqualified today, but one day they’ll tell people how they know you. They might call you meek, but one day they’ll call you mogul. They might call you uncool, but one day they’ll call you friend. They might call you on the phone to reject you, but one day they just might end up calling you boss.
‘Believe’ in the Power of Your Microphone
One of the biggest fears that holds us back from showing up as our true self is the fear that people won’t like us. Here’s the thing: We’re going to encounter mean girls, underminers, gossips, ruthless competitors, and even misguided supporters. Not everyone is going to like each of us all of the time no matter what. So why not accept it and show up as yourself?
Otherwise you’re going to have haters and critics judging someone you’re actually not, on top of it all. Maybe it’s less painful, or you think if you shrink down or hide, you’ll encounter less negativity. But at the end of the day, when you reclaim your power and show up in your life as your authentic self, you literally gain your whole life back.
‘Believe’ in the Power of Your Partners
A key to believing in ourselves is surrounding ourselves with people who not only believe in us and love us for who we are but also sharpen us. It’s been said many times that you are the culmination of the five or so people you spend the most time with. Think about that for a moment
If the five people you spend the most time with aren’t sharpening you and inspiring you to be the best version of yourself, it might be worth spending some time taking inventory of who you surround yourself with. If your intuition tells you that a friend, partner, or family member doesn’t see your goals and dreams with the helpful perspective you need, don’t actively seek their advice. Don’t hand them the microphone on that topic. Love them from a new, healthier boundary. Share, but focus on the areas where you best connect. Energy is contagious, and even though you can’t control how other people show up, you can control who you let impact yours.
‘Believe’ in the Power of Authenticity
We all have moments when a competitor is doing better than us, and that creates a temptation to consider changing what we’re doing, whether it’s how we’re selling our product, how we’re describing our mission, or even what product we’re selling altogether.
I’ve seen this play out, over and over, as one of the biggest mistakes any entrepreneur can make. Every time I saw a brand or brand founder change something that wasn’t aligned with their authentic WHY or their own authenticity, it failed in the long run. The biggest risk to our business isn’t what the competition is doing. It’s the risk of getting distracted and influenced by it and diluting our own secret sauce.
The power of authenticity takes so much pressure and stress off. Because there is only one you. And being anyone other than yourself simply won’t work. Realizing this sets you free.
‘Believe’ Life Isn’t Meant to Do Alone
Believe in the power of asking for what you need, whether it’s from someone else or yourself, in order to heal.
For me, I had to shift my perspective on how I saw needing something from someone else. I used to think it was a weakness, but now I know it’s a strength—even if it means being vulnerable or risking embarrassment or rejection. It might mean asking for an apology. Or giving one. It might mean asking for someone to change a behavior. It might mean looking in the mirror and asking yourself to love your body, and then committing to do the hard work of understanding and overcoming why you don’t. It might be asking and expressing your need to your partner for more affection. It might mean finally telling someone the truth about how their words hurt you. It most likely will mean having a tough conversation.
Revealing how you truly feel, even when it’s hard, can be key to connection, freedom, and healing. You don’t have to do this alone. Give people power to heal and you’ll be surprised by what happens.
Don’t ‘Believe’ in Balance. It’s a Lie!
When I look back on my journey of starting my company in my living room, then working nonstop for over a decade to grow it, a lot of things had to give for me to successfully grow my business at that rate. And when I think about it, truly, I’ve never successfully achieved balance.
I was a great CEO, but I wasn’t present for my friends and family the way I wanted to be, I wasn’t a present and connected partner to Paulo, I wasn’t a great owner of a body or steward of health, I lived out of a suitcase, and my house was often a mess. And even though on the outside everything looked like a success, I felt like I was falling apart on the inside. Because I thought that there was this thing called balance and I wasn’t achieving it.
Contrary to what you might believe, juggling all the important aspects of our lives is a lie. When we believe that lie is a truth, we feel like a failure. Eventually we start to feel that way in the presence of our kids, on date night with our partner, and in the time we carve out for self-care. We end up robbing ourselves of being fully present in all of those moments.
We have the power to decide where our focus and energy go. And we need to choose it carefully, because something else will give when we make this choice. Once you choose what matters most to you in life and where you want to focus your time and energy, then you have the opportunity to do your best at being present in the moment. When you’re at work, be all-in and fully at work. When you’re with your family, put your phone away and be fully present. When you’re carving out time for true self-care, fill yourself up unapologetically.
Realize you will never be able to do all of these things in balance. If you believe the lie that you will, it can rob you of ever being present and truly enjoying all of the most important areas of your life.
‘Believe’ in Giving What You Need
If you want something, the best way to get it is to give it. In life, this doesn’t always happen so instantaneously and obviously. But it does always happen eventually
Great leaders live life in a way that sees and serves others. Think about it. Almost everyone who has made a great, positive impact lives this way. The aunt or grandma in the family who everyone is devastated to lose. The teacher or school janitor who gets that big, tearful celebration when they retire—you know the kind, where even past students show up because they lived a life where they truly saw, cared for, and served others.
The same is true in business. As a boss or leader, one of your jobs is to make sure your team feels seen. And heard. And safe. And like they matter. And you have to really mean it. In addition to higher morale and lower turnover on your team, the added benefit is that since you get what you give, you are then even more strongly and authentically seen and heard and valued as a leader.
Giving is one of the ingredients that was key to us having extremely low turnover at IT Cosmetics. And for something that seems so simple, it’s amazing how rare it is, especially inside leadership structures in companies.
You have the power to give in this way right now. If you want friendship in your life, be a friend. If you’re feeling lonely, give community to someone else. If you feel like your voice isn’t being heard, ask someone else to share their story with you and then fully listen. If you’re not feeling beautiful, see the beauty in others and tell them about it. If you’re feeling unseen, let someone else know that you notice them.
Believe in the power of everything inside of you right now that you have to give. And if you want or need something, give it. Then watch what happens.
‘Believe’ in the Power of Letting Your Light Shine!
We’re taught to be modest and we’re taught, especially as girls and then women, that sharing our wins is bragging and unbecoming. We’re taught to minimize big wins and small wins. We learn to hide our talents and abilities.
Let’s be honest here—imagine what happens to the girl who shows up to the group and says things like “I’m always naturally thin no matter what I eat. It’s so great.” Or “My marriage is doing so great.” Think about how we’re socialized to react to that. With thoughts that the person is gloating. We learn quickly that when we share complaints over how we couldn’t button our jeans that week or how our house is a mess, other women relate and connect with us right away. Even when you believe you’re a champion of women, this is still often how women bond. Over perceived problems and weaknesses, not over victories.
For the sake of ourselves, our sisters, our mothers, our aunties, our stepmothers, our grandmothers, our great-grandmothers, our daughters, our granddaughters, and for all women, we need to change this. We need to celebrate our own victories with each other, and we need to celebrate her victory as if it’s our own.
Remember the idea of scarcity—that if she gets the one seat at the boardroom table it means I didn’t get it? We think if she wins, it somehow means I don’t. The opposite is actually true. The more she succeeds, the more space and opportunity there is for me to succeed. The more we celebrate our own victories and her victory, the more examples are out there for other girls and women to see.
Sometimes someone else has to see your win to believe it’s possible for herself.
‘Believe’ You Are Enough…
Imagine it as if we all have our own automatic thermostat. Think about how a thermostat works—imagine a room in your home, with a thermostat that you set at 74 degrees. When the room gets too hot, let’s say the temperature rises to 80 degrees, that thermostat kicks in and the AC goes on, lowering the room temperature back down to 74. And if the room gets too cool, let’s say it falls to 69 degrees, the thermostat kicks in, the heat goes on, and the room warms back up to 74.
Now imagine that your own self-worth. Let’s say whatever’s happening sets you flying high at 85 degrees, but you feel uncomfortable at that temperature because it’s out of the norm of what you believe your worthiness is, so you are compelled to lower the situation back down to that 75 degrees of worthiness.
The opposite is also true. Perhaps all chaos breaks loose in one area of your life, or you skip the gym for a few weeks when it’s normally been a daily habit, or you drink much more than usual for a few days in a row, or you find yourself gossiping about someone and it doesn’t feel good. In all of these cases you feel the temperature drop and know you’re worthy of being better than that. So your thermostat kicks in. You stop doing the lower-temperature behavior. You correct the mistake, raising the temperature of your self-worth and life back up to where you think it belongs. Can you relate to any of this?
To believe that you’re more powerful than your opposition, including mean girls, and that balance is a lie. To believe in the power of your own microphone, and in knowing how to use it, who to give it to, and who you need to turn down the volume on. To believe in the power of your WHY, and that your own authenticity is your superpower. To believe people when they show you who they truly are, believe in being brave, and believe that haters are just confused supporters. To believe that life isn’t meant to do alone, and to know that where you come from doesn’t determine where you’re going. To believe in giving what you need most, then watching in awe as it comes to you in full force.
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